this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Randomize
