Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
