I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
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