her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
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