Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
