I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize