So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
