Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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