Little spoons don't ask big questions
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
My liver just had a heart attack.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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