The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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