I just made out with a guy for $7.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
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