found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Randomize
