dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
