He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I have fence marks all over my body
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
