How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
you had me at cake vodka
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Randomize
