grandma shit on top of the toilet
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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