he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
