shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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