my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
