I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
