If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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