Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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