dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
