The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
How's work?
Spinning.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
