my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize