just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
