I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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