sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Randomize
