I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
