chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
