The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Randomize
