Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
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