every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
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