Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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