you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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