Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
