Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
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