Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Randomize
