yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
