I never want to see another naked old woman again.
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
