she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
We have started to decorate penises.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
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