apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
