I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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