You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
