If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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