Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
