Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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