I must be too annoying 4 u.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
