i think my tv is drunk
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Randomize
