I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
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