Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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