It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
