I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
