cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
you win again, gameday.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Randomize
