i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
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