Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
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