Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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