apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize