You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
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